Regrets and Hopes
by Ms.allea
Summary: When did Puck life became such a mess? And why did he had to lose Rachel in order to make it? His life is back on track but can he get back the most important part of his life?
1. truth

**AN - This is my first fanfiction ever. Please don't hesitate to review and help me improve it. Thanks**

* * *

'Oh Kill me', Puck was not in the mood for a party. He threw his cell phone onto his bed.

Since he has decided to clean his act after his stunt in juvie and he had actually stopped to sleep with everything that looks (or not – Mrs Dunn anyone?) like a woman, the Friday night parties had lost their appeal. Moreover he had a paper for his English class due the next Tuesday and, while he was good at school (once again who would had guessed that actually attending classes and handing papers on time would make him a straight A student), the subject of the assignment was not inspiring (or maybe it was too much inspiring). The problem was that he had regrets: not knowing his daughter, not beating his deadbeat of a father when he left (okay, Puck was only seven when that bastard left), hurting people with his badass persona (yes, being a badass was cool and made him popular but everything comes with a price), signing-up for football,…

He didn't want to try out for the football team but he wanted to get out of Lima and he had been told that a sport scholarship would be the most affordable way to go to college. It was not that he cared that much about his education, he did not believe he could be a doctor or a lawyer but he had his reasons for wanting to go to college. So, at fourteen, he wrote his name on the signing-up sheet and actually made it to the McKinley football team. If only he had known then that it would be the starting point of the end of the best thing that ever happened to his life. He so wished to be able to knock his fourteen-year-old self out and told him to stop celebrating and to enjoy the smile of his girlfriend's face because he wouldn't see it again… at least not for him.

Puck hadn't been aware of his fingers frantically clapping on his computer keyboard while he was thinking about the past, about the errors he had committed a few years before. Of course, he didn't know, he couldn't know what would happen during the next years. When he looked up at the screen, what he saw made him cringe, he had written a letter explaining everything he couldn't tell. Nobody knew everything about his life, not even his mother and the most clueless? His supposed best friends (the jocks and the cheerios). He didn't want everyone to know, he didn't care anymore about his popularity status. Actually, he was even more popular after going to juvie than before, that's when he fully realized that this town was even more of a losertown that he had been thinking. Seriously, the football team ruled the school and they won one game in five years, such an accomplishment! The others activities, like the Glee club, while having almost no budget, managed to go to nationals and still, the most talented members of it were tossed in dumpsters and slushied. He was even madder thinking of that because he was the one who had started that, by accident but it was his fault.

So regrets, he knew what they were but did he really want to hand this letter as his schoolwork? Let everyone – well his English teacher - know about this part of his life? He was not that sure. Maybe that party was a good idea after all.

He re-read the text announcing the party and realized it was from Kurt. Since when was Porcelaine organizing parties and inviting him? But if the party was at Kurt's (and Finn's place) that means that the gleeks would be there. He was curious to see how some of them would act at a party since the Rachel Berry extravaganza was their only experience as drinking and that had not been a success…

* * *

Puck parked his truck in front of the Hummel-Hudson house. There were not so many cars, which was weird. Even weirder, was the fact that no passed out teen seemed to be on the front lawn. Maybe he got the text wrong after all. Trying to open his phone, the front door open and Kurt made him enter the house, rambling about the fact that he was late. It was 8pm, how could he be late at fucking 8 pm was beyond him. Who actually started a party at that time?

He entered the house and saw only Glee kids. Even after three years, they were in their original groups. Santana, Brittany and Quinn were in the kitchen mixing drinks. Finn was trying to beat Mike at Halo in the living room. Mercedes, Tina and Kurt were gossiping as usual. Artie and Sugar were making out in the hall. And Rachel was looking at her ipod, which was wired to the Hummel sound system.

'Hello my Hot Beautiful Little Jewish American Princess'. She smiled at the nickname he gave her so long ago.

'Good evening to you Noah, how are you doing this evening?'

'Fine but Rach, don't tell me it's alcohol in your cup?'

'I'm not drinking'. Puck raised an eyebrow. 'I'm actually carrying this red cup full of vodka around to avoid Santana getting me drunk, as long as she thinks I'm drinking she is not forcing anything into me'

'What would Santana want you drunk? Hudson I get it but Satan, really?'

'I heard her when I was changing my clothes after a slushy facial this morning. Apparently, being slushied by a cheerio was not enough for me today.' Puck balled his fist – sometimes he had to remember that he was not beating up girls – and Rachel looked at the floor for an instant then keep up with her story. 'Well, I was in a cubicle in the girls' bathroom when she entered and started betting that she could get me drunk and get me to…' She stopped and looked sad.

'Berry, what has she planned?'

Rachel hesitated, she was feeling so bad. 'It's nothing Noah, I swear. Nothing she hasn't said before anyway. And as long as I don't drink and stay away from cell phone cameras, I will be fine'.

'Cameras? Tell me what did she say.'

'She just wants to prove the whole world that _Rupaul_ cannot interest a boy'. Her eyes were shiny with unshed tears and she didn't want to cry, not anymore.

'Rach…'

'I'm fine Noah, high school will end soon and all this will be history', she said smiling. She could fool most people with that smile but Puck saw the hurt in her eyes and that her smile didn't reach her eyes.

'Okay babe.' Then he remembered: 'I saw your Prius outside, let me drive you home, I will not drink tonight so just tell me if you need a designated driver'

'Thanks a lot but I'm fine and I don't plan on drinking this or staying late here, I have dance class tomorrow morning and I don't want to oversleep or be too tired. The recital is coming and I want to get the solo'. Her determination was back.

Puck didn't understand why Santana was so mean with Berry, that makes no sense. Girls! He was just going to keep an eye on them.

* * *

This party was the lamest stuff ever. Puck wished he was babysitting instead of being there. Hummel should have read his mind because he decided to spice up the night. Well spice it up in a Hummel way.

'Guys, let's play a game'.

Oh God, when Puck thought it couldn't get any lamer…

'And what do you propose?' Quinn asked

'I would have said spin the bottle but I don't want my Blaine making out with Rachel again'.

Rachel rolled her eyes.

'Don't worry Lady Lips, even gay guys don't want _Rupaul'_.

Rachel closed her eyes. '_Don't let her get to you, in a few months everything will be fine, you'll be in New York_' she kept repeating herself.

'Why don't we play truth or dare' Brittany suggested.

'Great' Kurt was clapping his hands. 'Everybody, come sit in the living room'.

When all the guests were seated in a circle, the game began.

Brittany chose dare and Finn asked her to make out with Santana. Puck thought it was stupid to ask two girls who were dating to make out because they were doing it anyway, such a waste of power. Brittany asked Mercedes who was her first, turned out the diva is still a virgin so no news there. Brittany was confused for a few minutes because she thought Mercedes refused to tell her the name of the boy. A few others come into play but Puck was not really into the game until Quinn talked to Rachel.

'So manhands, truth or dare'

Rachel had no choice but choosing thruth. 'Truth Quinn'

'Have you written any song about your failure at pursuing popular quaterback this last week?'. Quinn said. Almost all the gleeks chuckled. They were obviously tipsy but even for her it was messed up.

Rachel choked a bit but finally said 'If you really must know I have not written anything about Finn in a long time'. And she turns to Santana: 'Truth or dare, Santana?'.

The latina chose the truth.

'Why have you ask the cheerios to slushy me everyday for the last month'. Wait, the last month, Puck didn't know how he missed that. He could control the jocks but Santana and Quinn were supposed to protect the gleeks from the cheerios, not to encourage them to slushy. Maybe Rachel was wrong and Satan had nothing to do with that. He really hoped that.

'Because you need to be reminded when you stand'. Rachel kept her showface on.

Santana then looked at Puck, he had a bad feeling about it. 'So Puck, truth or dare'.

He needed to think fast, what was the safest? 'Truth'. His whole high school failures were known by everyone, so no need to sweat.

Santana had no idea so she asked the first question in her mind for this game knowing the answer, it was her after all.

'Who was your first sexual partner?'

Puck didn't know what to answer, he didn't want to lie about the best time of his life but he couldn't betray her one more time, he was losing himself in Rachel's eyes, he didn't want to disappoint her. He was so focus on her eyes that he nearly missed the small smile on her lips.

'It was me', Rachel said.

Everybody looked at her dumbfounded and then Santana starting to laugh: "Sure treasure trail, I slept with him when I was 15 and there's no way you were even able to know what sex was at that time'. The others laughed at that and Noah saw Rachel's smile fade and she looked at the floor, avoiding his glare. Rachel realized that Noah probably didn't want anyone to know that he had been with the 'freak'.

Sensing that she was certainly overthinking it and seeing her deflating; he blurted, without thinking: 'Rachel was my first, I was her first, we loved each other, I was 14, she was 13, it was perfect, she was and is the best'. All eyes were shifting from one to the other trying to see if Puck and Rachel were playing them. Noone had even heard Puck talked that much and had he said the L word?

Rachel and Puck were just watching each other unaware of everyone's curiosity until everything blew up.

Santana and Quinn were insulting Rachel saying that she was even more a joke that she appeared, that she probably had to trick him when she knew the other girls were not putting out to have a popular boy. Rachel was used to being trashed by the cheerios. However she was not prepared for the lowest blow.

'You told me you were a virgin', Finn said

'No I told you I never slept with Jesse', Rachel tried to explain

'But you said that you were giving me something special'

'Sex is something special for me Finn, so giving myself to you was something special'

'You made me wait for nothing, you're just a slut', Finn yelled.

Puck's fists were balling. How could Finn be so stupid. Being with Rachel was amazing and he should be happy she had accepted even to look at him.

Rachel was shrinking and her eyes couldn't focus on anything, she was searching for help, it couldn't happen.

How come he was the one saying all this and she was the one under inquisition? 'Stop it' Puck said moving in front of her to make a barrier between her and the cheerios and Finn.

'Oh my god' Quinn reacted immediately 'you're in love with her'...


	2. explanation

'_Oh my god' Quinn reacted immediately 'you're in love with her'._

Puck turned and caught Rachel's eyes, a single tear rolling down her cheek. He wiped it with his thumb and then she bolted. How can a girl that short could walk so fast (oh right the amazing long legs).

'Rach, please babe, wait'. Noah Puckerman was running after her, he needed to talk to her, to protect her but when he reached her, she was already backing up to the street with her Prius. He tried to knock on the window but it was useless.

Rachel was fully crying while driving home. She knew she shouldn't have been to that party and she should never have embarrassed him like that. What was she thinking? He was trying to find a suitable answer to Santana's question, one response not including the freakiest girl ever. But no, she couldn't help it. She had said the one thing that could destroy everything. They were starting to be civil and to be kind of friends again but she had to throw everything out for what? The truth? The tears were clouding her vision, which was the only explanation for who was in front of her.

After Rachel left, Puck had run to his old truck and probably broken all the speed limits Lima had. He wanted to talk to her, or, at least, to make sure she was ok. He had no idea how he made it but he arrived at her place before she did. His beat up truck was maybe not that bad after all. He jumped out of the cabin when she parked in her driveway.

'I'm so sorry Noah, I shouldn't have said anything'.

'Babe, why are you sorry?'

'If I hadn't said it was me, you could have said it was Santana or a cougar or any popular girl. Anyone who is not me'.

He was too shocked to move before she slammed the front door closed. Puck couldn't process what was going on, why she was saying that. He was not ashamed, what they had what the best part of his life. She couldn't think that, she couldn't want to erase what had happened.

Rachel ran to her room and collapsed on her bed, crying.

'Rach, open that damned door'? He was pounding on the door. 'Please, we need to talk… I want to talk'. After several minutes, he sat against the porch. He had never cry a lot in his life, he could remember each time clearly: when his father left, when he lost Rachel the first time (and after the breakup on the bleachers sophomore year too), when he gave Beth up. But somehow, tonight it was worst. Don't ask him why but he couldn't move.

* * *

Hiram and Leroy were having a 'date night' every Friday. They were driving back home wondering if their _star_ was already home. Unlike other parents, they were wishing that she would have sleepovers and start to make friends.

'Leroy, is that Noah's truck in the driveway?'. The Berry's were grinning. They missed having Noah Puckerman at home. During years, he was as a son for them and one day, he just stopped coming. The fathers were wondering if they were going to walk on their daughter and Puck making out as they had done so many times a few years ago. They were prepared for that (they had no choice, the teens were always touching each other a few years back), but they were not prepared for what they found.

Puck was asleep against the front door, his eyes were red.

'Noah…Puck, wake up son'.

Puck stirred, the two older men were watching him. 'Long time no see. What are you doing here outside, Rachel's car is here, why hasn't she opened the door?'.

'I… Rach… talking… just… please'. Puck was overwhelmed, how could he explain that he fucked up again.

'Come inside', Leroy said.

'Thanks Sirs'

'Noah, it always been Hiram and Leroy for you son'

Puck broke down. 'She doesn't want to see me', Noah said walking inside and sitting on the sofa.

Hiram and Leroy were having a silent conversation. Hiram headed upstairs and Leroy to the kitchen.

Leroy called Myriam Puckerman. It was 3 am but she needed to know where her son was.

'Myriam, it's Leroy Berry'.

'Oh Leroy, is everything alright, is it Rachel?'. She has always considered Rachel as her daughter, wishing one day she would be.

'Well, to be honest, I don't know what's going on but when we came back with Hiram, we found Noah sleeping on our porch, he was not making any sense but I think something happened with Rachel. I think it is better if he spends the night here. Maybe we can get them to talk to each other'.

'Of course, he can stay at your place if it is not a problem for you. '

'Thanks Myriam, I'll call you tomorrow'.

* * *

Hiram entered Rachel's room and what he saw broke his heart. Rachel was lying in ball on her bed; she was holding her old star cushion Noah has won for her at a local fair when they were ten. She was weeping so much that she was shaking.

'Oh baby girl, what happened? Why was Puck sleeping on our front porch?'

'Daddy, I've destroyed Noah's life'.

'What are you talking about?'

'He hates me now'.

'I don't think someone who hates you would be waiting for you in the middle of the night like that, darling'

'Because of me, he had lost everything. I'm so sorry for everything I've done'.

Rachel has inherited his dramatic side but she wasn't making any sense at the moment. He hoped Leroy was more successful with the mohawked boy in the living room.

* * *

After hanging up with Puck's mother, Leroy's mission was to understand what a seventeen-year-old boy was sleeping, obviously upset, in front of his house.

'So, care to tell me why you were sleeping there'.

'I screw up, that's not new but I want to talk to her'.

Leroy knew Puck was not talkative but that was going to be more difficult that what he anticipated.

'What happened?', maybe being more direct would work.

'She hates me'.

'Who? Rachel cannot hate you, you have too much past for that'.

'The gleeks, they know about us, they discovered tonight we were together'.

Leroy couldn't find any logic in that conversation: 'you dated last year, of course they know'.

'You don't understand, they know about us… before high school'.

'You mean they didn't know before?'

'No, and now, she regrets everything and she hates me. I cannot argue that she hes the right to hate me, I'm a Lima loser'

* * *

Rachel's fathers met in the kitchen and tried to gather all the information. Hiram told him that Rachel thought she had destroyed Puck's life and Leroy said what Noah confided about her hating him. They were confused; each of the teen thought the other's hating them.

'Are they even talking about the same thing?'

'Mr Berry, are you thinking about what I'm thinking.' Leroy said.

'Yes Mr Berry!' Hiram grinned.

'Go get her, they're gonna talk.'

* * *

Hiram came back down with Rachel.

'Babygirl, sit on the couch'. She sat at the opposite side of Puck, not daring to look at him. Puck was staring at the coffee table.

'Okay, we tried to talk to each of you but either you don't talk about the same thing, either there was too much alcohol in that party but as neither of you – thanks god – look drunk, you need to sort this out'.

Both teen looked guiltily at their laps.

'We never pushed you about talking to us. We don't even know – or understand – what happened when you two broke up. One day you're were all over each other and the next Noah was not coming anymore and Rachel was not leaving the house except for her dance and music classes', Hiram was rambling (another things Rachel has inherited from him).

Seeing that his husband's rant was making Rachel silently cry again. It was never good when his daughter was silent. Leroy tried a more straightforward approach:

'Puck, do you hate Rachel?'

Hearing that question, Puck watched the Berry's straight in the eyes: 'What? I could never hate her'. Why were they asking that question, they were the ones not making any sense now.

Rachel was feeling so much better.

'Good, Rachel, do you hate Puck?'

'No… why would you ask that'. She was choking.

'That misunderstanding is cleared, now could you explain what happened'.

Rachel looked at Puck and understood they needed to sort everything out.

'Dad, daddy, could you let us talk alone please'. Hiram and Leroy nodded and headed upstairs, saying they would see them both at breakfast the next morning.

They were sitting silently on the coach, each of them still on the opposite side.

'Are you ashamed I was your first. Rach tell me the truth'. He was getting nervous.

'What? Of course not and that's why I'm so sorry about tonight, I wanted everyone to know that it was so magical between us, not only the first time but everytime'. She was blusing.

He couldn't stop smiling. He was too far away from her, he switched seat on the sofa to get closer to her.

'Rach, please listen to me'. She was sobbing but she nodded. 'I don't regret anything that happened between us, except our breakup. I regret the sex I had with other girls because it meant nothing but with you, it was more than magical. I know I screwed up after joining football but I want you to know that I've wanted to tell everyone you were the one forever, I just thought that you were not willing to say that I was your first. If I didn't answer immediately Santana's question, it was because I didn't want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable'.

'Really?' She was looking at him so intensely. He linked their fingers.

'Yes my princess. And I know I should never has stopped telling you this, but I'm still in love with you, always been, always will'.

He kissed her and she kissed back. He licked her lower lip and she granted him entrance, he gladly deepened the kiss. Oh god, how he missed that. Best kisser ever. He lowered her on the couch and laid on her, being careful not to crush her. His mind was not working anymore, he just wanted her, so glad she was allowing him to be in her life once more. And then, suddenly she stiffened.

'I… I'm sorry… I can't'. He stood up immediately. It was too good to be true. It was obvious that it couldn't be that easy.

He started to walk to the door. It took a few seconds for Rachel to realise that he was leaving. Again.

'Noah? Where do you think you're going?'

He looked at her quizzically. Seriously, he was lost.

She walked to him and took his hand, 'Don't you remember my fathers saying they wanted to see us at breakfast in the morning, I remembered them saying explicitly requesting _both_ of our presence'.

She was leading him towards the stairs.

His brain was telling him to just shut up but he wanted to understand: 'But you just said'.

She was now smiling. He could spend the whole night watching that smile, not the night, his whole life.

They arrived upstairs and he stopped in front of the guest room. She was still holding his hand and she was pulling him to her room with the bright yellow star on the door. He remembered helping her to put that star on the door when she was eight. He was smiling at the memory but then his mind registered what they were doing downstairs and the freak out.

'Rach, princess, you said you couldn't. What am I doing in your room?'

'You dummy… We can't do what we were doing.' After all this time, she still couldn't say the words. 'downstairs, tonight. I need to process all of what we said and start clean'. He couldn't control his face, he was smiling, was she ready to get rid of Hudson for good?

'And I want to cuddle, so get in the bed'. She said getting her night clothes and entering her bathroom.

'Babe, you know the Puckerone won't go to bed with his clothes on'. She was so hating that nickname, he was more than that. Her answer was spot on: 'But _my Noah_ was sleeping in his briefs in my memory'. Her Noah? His heart skipped a beat or two or a whole sequence hearing that.

She went out of the bathroom wearing the tiniest shorts Puck had ever seen and one of his old t-shirt.

'You kept my t-shirt?' He was grinning. She was blushing. Was it crazy that he missed that too? He could make her blush so easily.

'Come on beautiful, get into bed'. He turned the lights off and spooned her.

'Noah'

'Yes?'

'I love you too'.

He couldn't do anything but hold her tighter and kiss her neck. Both of them fell asleep smiling.


	3. An Eventful Saturday Morning

**AN - Sorry it took me so long to update.  
First of all, I wanna pass a big hug to all of you, if you haven't watched The Quaterback yet, prepare a lot of tissues. For the others, I hope it helped you, as it did for me.  
Second, I'm thinking about changing the ratings for the next chapter. Tell me what you're thinking about that. Also thanks for the follow/favorite and reviews I've got so far (don't be shy ;-) )**

* * *

'Noah, Noah…. Wake up'.

'Wanna sleep… don't move… too early'.

'Noah, it's 9.00 am'

'It's Saturday and I know for a fact that you don't have anything to do this morning so what's the rush?' He was trying to cuddle more to convince Rachel to stay in bed a little longer.

'Do you think we can really go back where we were? Isn't that crazy?' He was now bright awake. _Was she freaking out? Was she regretting it? Was yesterday just a dream?_ His mind was running faster than ever.

'Princess, we can't go back and I don't want to go back and screw everything up all over again, we gonna be Rach and Noah and be awesome and stronger than before because I won't make the same mistakes. We will get as slow as you want it to be and I'll show you that we can be perfect'. She smiled and kissed him. He kissed her back and deepened the kiss. He was so not going to screw this up. His perfect girl was giving him another chance and he wanted to make everything to keep her happy.

After a few minutes, Rachel stood up, much to Puck's displeasure.

'What do you think you're doing?'

'I am going to take a shower, and then we're having breakfast with my fathers, remember? You can go steal some pancakes now and eat bacon before I go down'. He grinned. He had a better idea: he jumped out of bed and ran to give her a quick peck before she closed the bathroom door. What? It was worth a shot to try to get into the bathroom to take a shower with his girl. He heard her laughing. Yep, she totally got what he was trying to do.

He put his clothes back on and headed downstairs.

* * *

When Puck entered the kitchen, he saw that Rachel's fathers were already there. Leroy was cooking some pancakes and Hiram was watching something on his phone. And they say teens cannot put their smartphones down he thought.

Leroy saw him there and said: 'So Noah, how was the guest room?'? Noah was stunned. He was a badass but he was starting to feel out of place. He was looking at his feet and missed the huge smile on Rachel's dads' face.

'Leroy, don't tease him'. Puck was relieved for an instant.

'Don't worry son, you two were cute, I have a new screensaver on my phone and your mother was ecstatic on the phone after receiving the picture of you and our star entangled together'. Puck

What? You didn't do that?

'Oh believe me he did, against my advice if I may add', Leroy said bringing him a plate full of pancakes.

'Oh no, my mother is gonna kill me, I forgot to call her', Puck finally remembered. With everything that was going on yesterday evening, he had totally forgot to check with his mother.

'Don't worry. I did it when we came back last night'

'Thank you'

'And anyway, after THAT picture' Hiram was showing him his phone 'she couldn't stay mad at you'. That's true they were cute together

'We even had to dissuade her to come and check it was true…'

Puck was still looking at Hiram's phone when Rachel came into the kitchen.

'What are you looking for?'

'An awesome picture of us! Hiram could you send it to me, please?'

'Sure'.

'Dad, daddy! You've spied on us?'

'We were just trying to make sure everything was alright, star'. Rachel couldn't stay mad at her fathers, especially after what they had witnessed the evening before

Rachel was debating on what to eat and looking in the fridge when her dad asked what they had planned for the day. Puck shrugged, it was all Rachel's call anyway. However, the three men froze when they heard Rachel's answer: 'I'm going to Finn's'.

She kept rummaging to the fridge to find some fruit when she heard a glass exploding on the floor. She turned and saw it was Puck's and that he looked overly white, than she saw that her fathers were shocked too. Rachel, understanding the misunderstanding, clarified: 'I'm going to tell him that it is over, we were just on a break – I assume- but now it is definitively over, definitively'.

She cupped Puck's head in her hand and made him watch her, locking eyes with him to assure him that he didn't have anything to be afraid of.

'That's why you stopped last night', he realised.

'Yes, I want us to be perfect'?

'Too much information kids, we are so glad your room is soundproofed', Hiram said laughing.

'Daddy!', she was crimson red.

* * *

Rachel was arriving at Finn's place. It had taken a bit of time after breakfast to say bye to Puck and to assure him that he could go back to his place and that it was safe for her to go alone to see Finn. She wanted to come clean and put her life back on track. She knew she had to explain to the guy who had been a big part of her high school life that it was over between them and that he needed to move on. And she hoped Finn and Noah could stay friends, or at least civil with each other. Even if Puck wasn't saying it, Finn was one of his closest friends.

She realized Finn's car was the only one in the driveway, so he was probably home alone. After a little while, she gathered the courage to knock of the Hudson-Hummel home.

'Oh Rachel, I thought it would take you more time for you to come to apologize' he said with a big smile.

'Apologize? What? You're the one you called me names'. She was fighting the tears from falling. So much for trying to have a rational discussion with him.

'Well, you lied to me'

'No I did not', Rachel didn't get what he was talking about. If she had lied yesterday, the party wouldn't have ended that badly.

'You told me you were a virgin'.

'No, I told you I did not sleep with Jesse'.

'But you slept with Puck when you were in middle school, maybe he is not the only Lima loser'. The tears were on the verge on falling now. Maybe it was a very bad idea to have come to talk to him.

'Don't call him that. You don't know anything about Noah'.

'But I know Puck and you're so stupid to believe he cares about you'.

That was enough! She just wanted to leave but she had to say what she came for, at least for hers and Puck's sake: 'Stop it, I just came here to tell you that what we had is over, that we will never be together again and you need to move one'.

'Wait', he said and he reached for his desk drawer. He finally found what he was looking for and approached her with a smile. She thought he was taking that development pretty good until…

'I pardon you, just stay away from Puck and we will be fine', he was still walking towards her. She was looking at him quizzically. _Did he even listen when she was talking?_

He put a knee on the floor, opened a little squared box and she blurted 'Don't do that'.

'Rach, marry me'. Rachel's mind was going a thousand miles an hour. How can he do that, it was not a question, it was a statement'?

'No' Finn seemed dumbfounded. And, before leaving his room, she added 'And don't call me Rach, only Noah can do that'.

Running to get her car and leave this place as soon as possible, she was just thinking about one thing: how to explain what just happened to Noah without getting him to do something stupid. She didn't want him to go back to juvie.

Arriving at home, she just sent Noah a laconic text message: 'We need to talk – Rach*'.


	4. Lazy Saturday afternoon

**AN - There's a change of rating, you will know why at the end. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

'_We need to talk – Rach*'_

_What the fuck?_ Puck was blinking and reading the text over and over again. Those four words were never good; they were announcing a break up. He should never have let her go to Finn's, at least not alone. How come Finn was always winning the girl?

He needed a plan; he needed to find a way to keep her. _I cannot lose her again, it took me long enough to realize but she is THE one, the only one_. He wanted to rewind everything, going back to this morning and keeping her in bed. _They say that if you change the smallest detail in the past, the future changes_. He wanted to go back to the beginning of freshman year then to erase all the mistakes he had done since then.

_Stop thinking about things you cannot change, you have less than 15 minutes to find a way to convince your princess not to dump your sorry ass._ He was restless but managed to grab his keys and make his way to his truck. He was still thinking about everything and replaying the conversations they had the day before and this morning. _She seemed happy this morning; I thought I was making her happy_. He was racing Lima's streets but he didn't care, he had to get to her and beg her to keep him, he was ready to do anything to make her happy. _If only she could be happy with me_.

He arrived at the Berry's house and opened the door. _I should really tell them to shut that door_. It is not that Lima crime rate was really high, besides the stupid pranks by the popular teenagers, there was almost nothing but Puck couldn't stop thinking that some creep could want to hurt his girl. _She is too good for anyone from Lima …_

* * *

'Rach please, we can work everything out', he said bursting into her room.

'Noah, calm down, what are you talking about?' Rachel looked at him. She couldn't understand why he was saying such a thing.

'Your text said '_We need to talk_'.

'Yes… uh… I… Finn…', she didn't know how to explain it.

'You're back together, or you didn't even break up', he was totally defeated, staring at the wooden floor of Rachel's bedroom.

'What? No! Of course I broke up with him. Why would you think otherwise?'. Rachel was trying to understand what was going on, maybe she was asleep or in another universe or going crazy; after all, the whole school considered her as mentally ill.

'But you wrote me that we should talk and then you're trailing off attempting to explain what happened '. He was pacing now.

'Yes, well. First promise me that you're staying with me today'. _And tonight_ she added silently.

'If you want me to be with you, of course'. His eyes found hers. He could see that something was still bothering her but if she wanted him to be with her, _that was a good sign, right?_

'And promise me too that no violence will ensue, neither today or later following what I will explain to you'.

'Rach you know I will never hurt you right?'

'I know that Noah, I want you to say that you will not hurt Finn'.

'What did he do to you? Did he touch you? Did he hurt you? Tell me Rach'. His eyes were roaming her body but not in his lewd usual way, he was searching for any ecchymosis (of shut up, you cannot be Rachel Barbra Berry's boyfriend and not knowing big words too).

'No, don't worry about that, but still, I don't want you to get back to juvie or get into troubles now that we finally have found each other again'. He was relaxing and he nodded, encouraging her to tell her story. They sat on her bed.

She told him how she got to Finn's place, how Finn was still an ass (not her words but that's a more effective way to describe him after what he did) and the fallout.

'He asked you to stay away from me and then he proposed?' Puck was fuming; he could feel the anger rising into him.

'Of course I said no and that we were over, definitively over'. She was hoping that Noah was not thinking she'd have encouraged Finn in any way.

'I'm going to teach him how not to mess with my girl'.

'Noah', she said reaching for his hand. 'You promised'. He deflated almost immediately and sighed, nodding his head.

'And moreover, I thought I could spend the whole weekend together with my boyfriend'. She emphasized 'the whole weekend' and the 'boyfriend' part. He was grinning.

Oh yes, leaving right now was not even an option, he had better things to do than to teach Finnocence to stay out of his girl's life.

'So girlfriend, what were you thinking about with that offer?' He winked at her and he heard her stomach growled.

'I guess we can start with some lunch', he said with a smile. He stood up and led her to go downstairs.

* * *

After lunch, they were making out on the living room couch, Friends reruns playing on TV. Puck was thinking about what Rachel was afraid of earlier when she told him to not beat up Finn.

'Babe, you know I won't jeopardise you or our future'. She nodded and took his shirt off. She was straddling him. She was tracing the muscles on his stomach and she was biting her lips. He brought her top tank off her. Her eyes were watching him so intensely. He kissed her while his hands were unclasping her bra. His fingers were playing with her nipples. She started grinding against him and they moaned at the sensation.

'We have to go upstairs', he managed to say between kisses.

'Don't worry, my dads are not coming back anytime soon'.

'My wallet is in your room'. She immediately understood what he was saying.

'I'm on the pill'.

'Rach, I went to the doctor after leaving your place this morning. I will have the test results in a few days; until that, I don't want to take any risk. I haven't slept with anyone since my last test, which was clean, five months ago; but I want to be really really sure. You're worth too much to me to put you at risk'.

'You haven't had sexual intercourse in that long?'. She knew he was not as wild as he had been but she was not expecting that. She was impressed and she felt like she wanted him even more, if that was even possible.

'Rach, I….' he trailed off. He knew he could tell her that he had been slapped more than once because he was saying her name at the wrong time or that bed-hopping, unlike he was bragging about to everyone, was not satisfying but he didn't want to remind her of his man-whore days.

'I love you, I always have and I always will'. He said and that seemed to be the perfect answer. At least, his girl was smart enough not to kill the mood and she attacked his lips, jumping on him and securing her legs around his waist.

'Upstairs… my room', she said against his lips. He was carrying her to the stairs, making sure to keep an eye open to not smash anything around.

He delicately put her on the bed. She unzipped his pants and helped him taking them off. He lowered himself on her, taking care of not crushing her. They were kissing intensely. Her hands ran under his boxer, then she put them off using her toes (being a trained dancer helped with this kind of stunt). He took her left nipple between his fingers while sucking on the right one. Rachel was moaning and took his length into her small hand. She wiped the precum with her thumb and she started pumping him. Puck let out a growl and fumbled with her skirt. He finally found the way to unbutton it rolling besides her and took the garment off. He then took her pink lace panties off very quickly. His fingers were sliding down her stomach to her center. He touched her folds and said: 'Oh gosh, Rach, you're soaked babe'. She moaned and her hands started stroking him faster. He was circling her clit, faster and faster. With his other hand, he entered two fingers inside her and pumped. He felt her clench around his fingers while she cried his name.

He reached to get the condom in his wallet on her bedside table. He opened the foil packet as fast as he can. He wanted to make her scream his name over and over. He rolled the condom onto his length. He placed himself at her entrance and asked her if she was sure. She nodded and brought his lips to hers. He entered her and they both hissed in pleasure. They were eager for each other and they both knew that it wasn't going to last long, but this time was for need, they had their whole life for slow lovemaking.

'Faster Noah… oh god…'. He obeyed her and was going faster, going in and out of her. He could tell she was close when her nails started to scratch his back. He didn't care, he loved when she was marking him. He wanted everyone to know that he was hers. She came screaming his name and he followed her kissing her deeply. They were spent and they fall asleep with him still inside of her.

* * *

Rachel was lazily staying on the bed (after round two and three). _My Girl is so cute_, he thought.

'Get up sleeping beauty', he told her smiling when she groaned 'I am taking you on a date to that vegan place'. Well, the only vegan place in Lima to be honest.

'You're not vegan'.

He winked at her, 'But my Hot Jewish American Princess is'.


	5. A New First Date

**AN - Thanks for the reviews/follows/likes this story gets. It is so great to know that people are reading it.**

* * *

Puck was sitting on Rachel's bed, he was daydreaming about his date while she was in the bathroom completing her evening routine. It was maybe not the most badass thing he had done in his life but, for once, he was proud of him. Taking his princess to that restaurant for their first date (well, not their 'first' first date but the first date in like forever) was a genius idea. The restaurant was quiet. No really, really quiet. Apparently, the Lima vegan community consisted pretty much of only his girl. There were two other couples in the restaurant but he clearly heard one patron ask for ribs. And the other couple was obviously there because it was the closest thing from their motel.

Rachel was smiling at her own reflection in the mirror. That was ridiculous how wonderful she felt tonight. It was amazing how twenty-four hours could change everything. Noah has been perfect. Not only he brought her to a vegan restaurant without complaining about the food. Her very '_carnivore'_ boyfriend has agreed to eat what he called '_rabbit food_' just to make her happy. She was in awe how he behaved tonight. When they arrived, he practically ran around the car to open her door. He kissed her hand and led her inside the restaurant. He even stayed quiet when that idiotic man asked for ribs. Seriously, did that guy even check the menu before ordering?

Puck was looking at the pictures on one of Rachel's walls: how didn't he see them earlier and how her ex had not seen them? That's a mystery. Okay, Finn was not the brightest crayon in the box but there were about twenty pictures of her and him, starting when they were just kids through the end of middle school. He thought that he should print the photo her fathers had taken this morning and the one he had asked the waiter to take of them eating that huge vegan chocolate decadence at the restaurant. He was not going to tell her but that desert was pretty much awesome, just as sweet and perfect as her. He plugged his phone to her laptop and printed them. Another good thing about having Rachel Berry as a girlfriend: she was ready for any situation! In this case, she had a printer specifically dedicated for pictures. She had explained him a while back that she needed that to print her headshots in case of a sudden casting call. You see, just perfect and prepared for all situations. He took the photos and stuck them on the wall. He grinned at his work.

Meanwhile, Rachel was taken off her staring contest with the mirror by the buzz of her phone. She had switched it on when she put her avocado night mask on to time the three minutes the natural balm has to stay on her face to take effect. She had like 60 missed Facebook notifications and a few messages too. After removing the greenish cream off of her face, she turned the phone back off; she didn't want to know what everyone was thinking about her life. It didn't matter anyway, she was happy. She was beaming as she remembered why she had switched her phone off. After ordering their food, parmesan eggplant for her and tofuball spaghetti for him, Noah was fumbling with his phone, she was looking at him a little annoyed and she was ticking her fingers on the table. He looked at her with a sloppy smile and showed her what he was setting on the device. She could not be mad at him for that. As she gave him his cellular back, her own phone beeped with a notification asking her to confirm if she was 'in a relationship with Noah 'Puck' Puckerman'. She eagerly pressed the button and added a comment saying she was the _happiest girlfriend with the most handsome and wonderful boyfriend ever_. They put their smartphones on the table but she had to switch hers off when it started to buzz incessantly.

Puck was taking his clothes off. They were going to watch a bit of TV and make out; and obviously more when they – well when _he_– would be sure her fathers will be asleep. He knew she would say that it didn't matter because her room was soundproofed but he was not that convinced: his girl was loud, like really, really loud. And he loved to make her scream (his name or whatever was on her mind). So he clearly didn't need his jeans and shirt on. At that moment, Rachel came back from the bathroom wearing the tiniest shorts he ever seen with a pink tank top that was perfect of her.

* * *

The teenagers heard a knock on the door.

'Come in', Rachel said. She was snuggling against Noah's chest. They were above the covers, just watching some Friends reruns on her small TV screen.

Leroy opened the door and guided Hiram into their daughter's bedroom. Rachel and Noah started laughing when they saw that Hiram was blinded his sight with his hand saying that he didn't want to see anything that a father didn't want to acknowledge.

'Honey, stop acting like that, they have clothes on and they wouldn't have let us get inside the room if they weren't'. Rachel cheeks turned red and she hid her face in her boyfriend's torso. Puck was smiling and wondering how on earth he got so lucky. He was not the kind of guys a father would want for a daughter and then, he had this amazing girlfriend with not one but two dads who were pretty cool with him being alone with their daughter in her room. He didn't know whom he should thank for that but, oh god, he was ecstatic about his life.

'Star, you know I have a conference in Chicago next week', Leroy started and Rachel nodded. She was wondering why he was there to remind her that, this trip had been scheduled for weeks now. 'I will be leaving tomorrow evening and I'll be back next Friday'.

'Dad, I know. I even helped you to book the hotel and the transportation'. Hiram saw the confusion in Rachel's eyes and added 'Yes baby girl, but that's not all. Jason's wife delivered their first child today so he cannot go to San Francisco as he was supposed to. He asked me to take his place at the symposium. So I will leave on Monday morning and be back next Saturday.'

'Rachel, I know you usually stay alone when we are leaving like that but we wanted to talk to both of you'. Noah was guessing he was forbidden for him to stay during that week and he sat straighter on her bed. That move didn't go unnoticed by the Berry men.

'Noah…' The fathers looked at each other and started chuckling.

'Oh gosh Leroy, he looks like we are going to forbade him to stay here during that week'. Hiram grinned.

Noah was dubitative, 'Wait, you're not going to keep me away from your house?'.

'Of course not, we would actually be relieved if you could look after Rachel. We trust her and she is used to stay alone but we cannot stop worrying about her'. Puck was the luckiest guy on earth right now, he was wondering if he should play the lottery or something.

Rachel was unusually quiet and she was playing with some loose threads of her comforter. The three other occupants of the room looked at her.

'Rach what's wrong?', Noah ask worriedly.

She looked at Hiram and asked him when he was supposed to come back on Saturday. He realised what was the problem and approached the bed. Puck saw that the Berry's understood why she was acting like that but he was still wondering what the problem was.

'Star, have we ever missed any of your performances?', Hiram asked her.

'No, both you and dad have always been sitting on the front row'.

'Well, do you think I will start missing my favourite ballerina dance recital?'. A small smile appeared on her face. 'My plane is landing Saturday morning'. She hugged her father.

Leroy and Hiram wished them good night and left her room.

Noah waited until he heard her fathers' door closed to say: 'Babe, I hope you know I want a front row ticket for your recital'.

'You're sure?'. She looked at him with her big chocolate eyes.

'I haven't seen you in a leotard in years, believe me I'm totally sure I want to watch my girlfriend's recital. I assume you have at least a solo'.

'Noah, I've had solos in each single recital I have performed since I was four'. He knew she was not even joking, he could remember most of them.

* * *

After waiting twenty minutes, he decided that it was safe for them to start getting rid of their clothes. She reminded him that he could have done that twenty minutes earlier but he kissed her. His princess was talking too much sometimes, but, god, he loved her voice. He pulled her tank top out and his tongue went sucking on her left nipple. He took the other one between his fingers. Rachel moaned at the feeling. Her hand went into his boxers and she started to stroke him. He pulled her shorts (even though they were more the size of panties anyway) down her legs. He used his thumb to brush a few circles over her clit, she was already wet.

'Please Noah'. She wanted to feel him inside her. She needed him. But Puck had another idea. This afternoon had been fast and animal but he wanted to make her feel amazing and make her come a few times. He kissed her on the lips before trailing kisses down her collar bone, her breasts, her belly button,… He put his hands on her inner thighs and opened her legs. He licked her folds. She tasted so good. He was getting harder but he wanted to make her come against his tongue first. He licked and sucked her clit while pumping his fingers in and out of her until he felt her walls flutter around his fingers. She arched her back and screamed his name. He put kisses on her body getting from her thighs until he kissed her on the lips to let her taste herself. She moaned into his mouth.

He knew she wanted to make things even but he couldn't wait to be inside her. He told her that and he grabbed a condom. She said that she hoped he get the results of his test soon because she wanted to feel him entirely, without any barrier. He was painfully hard right now and he plunged into her. He was getting faster and harder until she planted her nails into his back while crying his name out. He came exactly at the same moment.

After they rode their orgasms out, they cuddle and they were tangled up into each other. The last things they heard before falling asleep was their '_I love you'_.


	6. let's get stuck on Sunday

**AN - So sorry for the delay between updates. Life has a way to get crazy and my computer had a bad update (now I know more about backing up, restoring, booting from an extern drive than I ever wished - or not actually ). Enough talking, here is the update...**

* * *

'Princess, remind me why should we go there again?' His knuckles were turning white on the wheel while Rachel was biting her lower lip to avoid laughing. He knew she didn't see any problem with spending time with his family and he was glad she was blending so well with them but it was Sunday morning and he could think of better activities than eating with his mother and his kid sister. They had been invited (summoned was a better word) to have brunch with his mother. The worst part of it: his mom had called at fucking eight am. Seriously, who is even awake at that hour on a Sunday morning.

'Because I want to make a good impression on your mother and convince her to let you stay at my place the whole week'. She knew that request was going to be granted without any difficulties. Myriam Puckerman had never been very discreet about her wish to see her son and Rachel be close, very close. Rachel was even suspecting her boyfriend's mother to (not so) secretly praying for any kind of birth control malfunction between the two of them. She could still remember the hope in the eyes of the woman when, during sophomore year, Rachel was besides Noah when he told his mother about the baby. The disappointment in the older lady only appeared when he said that it was Quinn who was pregnant and not Rachel.

Honestly, Rachel was still mad about that. First, it was terrible to dislike the idea of a child because of the identity of its mother (even when it was the ice queen). Rachel loves Beth simply because she was Noah's daughter; even if she was Quinn's daughter and adopted by her biological mother, those things didn't matter. It still hurt though but Beth was existing and Noah loved her, that was all that matters. Secondly, how could someone think that she would be stupid enough to get pregnant before reaching her dreams. Okay, Rachel knew it was a possibility and that birth control was not one hundred percent effective but she also knew what she would do if that happened and she and Noah had talked about that when they were dating in middle school. She was aware they should renew this particular conversation but she dreaded it… deep inside, she knew the birth of Beth had changed Noah and that he would be a wonderful father, and that he would go crazy for a kid with her but she was not ready for that: she had dreams, big starry Broadway dreams and she was a teenage girl, a very mature one if she must say herself but still a kid in a way.

She had been so lost in her inner conversation that she didn't realize they had arrived to the Puckerman's house. Puck was looking at her sweetly and asking if she was lost in her dreams. Rachel smiled at him and put her hands on each side of his face and kissed him on the lips. Both of them wanted to deepen the kiss but they were interrupted by Rebecca knocking on the car door.

'Noah, you're gross and mom sent me to get you inside. Hurry up, I want to show Rach my new Monster High dolls'. Becca grabbed Rachel's hand and basically pulled her to the house.

'Glad to see who is more important for you, kiddo'. Noah was laughing but Rachel was looking at the floor. He traded their fingers together and she smiled too. Myriam came to them and engulfed Rachel into a crushing hug.

'Ma, let my girlfriend breathe '. His mother was acting like she hadn't seen the brunette for years, while they probably saw each other last week at temple. It was ridiculous and cute at the same time because his mother was looking so proud. It was a nice change to have her happy and proud. Myriam reluctantly let go of Rachel and shove a duffel bag into Puck's arms.

'What is that?' Noah asks.

'Your clothes for the week', his mother replied. Both teens started laughing. Rachel's eyes were shiny with tears. They probably were the only two teenagers in the whole world with parents so eager to let them alone in a house during a whole week (a school week by the way).

* * *

It was like his mother was trying to impress his girlfriend. He didn't mind but it was stupid: Rachel knew his family (and they love them) and his family knew and, to put it simply, worshipped her. So, even if it was nice for his mother to make a vegan-proofed brunch, it was totally unnecessary (well, unnecessary for the four of them to eat rabbit food). The lovebirds (his mother had found them a new nickname apparently) were sitting on one side of the table while his mother and his sister were on the other side. That was convenient for Puck and his hand was resting on Rachel's thigh, reaching higher and higher: it was not his fault, his girl was wearing a skirt that was more of the size of a belt than anything.

At one point, Rachel noticed something was bothering Becca and she asked the young girl what was wrong. Noah's sister looked at Rachel shyly (and that's showing something was really not right with her) and asked her if, now she was back with her big brother, she would still have time to help her with her dancing lessons. Rachel went to kneel next to the almost crying girl and told her that she will always help her, that nothing would change that. This meant the world for Becca who had a huge smile on her face and dragged Rachel to the living room to play with her dolls.

While the girls were playing (well, Becca was telling Rachel what was happening in the Monster High world), Myriam warned Noah. It was not a threat but more like an advice.

'Don't mess up with her', Myriam's tone was really serious.

'Ma, thanks for the confidence', Noah was rolling his eyes.

'Noah, I love you and I know you love her and that's obvious how much she loves you but she is not as strong as she wants everybody to think she is'.

'I will not screw up this time, she is my endgame', he said smiling. He couldn't believe he was talking about feelings, and to his mother nonetheless. However, he was feeling like he was missing something, that his mother knew more than she was letting on.

* * *

After rescuing his girlfriend from the tales of Monster High by his seven-year-old sister and getting his school backpack and his laptop with his homework for the week the teens left the Puckerman's place. Rachel wanted to spend some time with her fathers before their departures.

It was not a bad afternoon, he was studying while she was rehearsing. He loved hearing her sing. She had the voice of an angel, his sexy angel. When he was done with his homework; she checked it to see if everything was right, corrected what was wrong and explained everything until he got it (no wonder why she was a senior as he was even though she was one year younger than him). Then they headed downstairs to have dinner with her dads.

After Hiram and Leroy left for the airport, Leroy was leaving tonight, the couple was curling on the sofa in front of the television. Noah noticed Rachel was uncharacteristically quiet. Noah knew how to deal with crazy Rach, non-stop talking Rach but quiet Rach was worrying him.

'Rach, my princess, Leroy will be back in a few days and Hiram is still there until tomorrow morning'. Puck was thinking she was upset because of her fathers' business trips.

'I know Noah'. She was looking at her hands.

'What's wrong babe?' If he had done something wrong, he wanted to know what and how to fix it.

'School, tomorrow we have to go back to school and…' she trailed off.

'What are you worried about?' He was lost. She loved school; well at least, she had perfect grades and attendance.

'Will we still be together?' A tear fell on her cheek.

'What? Of course, you're my girl, nothing is going to change that'. He would like to be mad at her for that but he knew why she was so insecure.

'But your friends? Your reputation?' She was fidgeting.

'Rach, look at me'. Her eyes were red but she looked at him. 'I don't care, you're the only important thing for me; from now on, it's us, and if the others are not accepting that, too bad for them, okay'.

He kissed her to reassure her. In his mind, there was no doubt at all: she was the only important thing in his life and he was going to protect her, no matter what. High school was almost over for them (even for him if he kept his grades up and she was a good influence on him for that); just a few more months in Lima and then they could go wherever they want (the first stop would be New York City). His preference would be anywhere no one will treat her badly just because she was awesome.

* * *

**_Next: Back to school... _**


End file.
